Poker and the forty eight laws

Which of the forty eight laws do you need to put into play while at the poker table? Experienced poker players say it's this one:

Law 4: Always Say Less than Necessary

So many people around the poker table like to talk, kibbitz, or compare hands after the game is over. Resist the temptation. People try to draw you out, get you to make verbal mistakes so that you will make monetary mistakes.

Concentrating around the poker table is hard enough, let alone having to concentrate and maintain harmless conversation. It's often better to just say nothing.

We are social animals, so needless to say it's very tough to maintain complete silence at the table for hours on end. But the closer you come to this ideal, the better your chances for a big payoff.

The story of Dr. Walker, the legendary attending at Emory University Department of Medicine, applies here. He was known for his unorthodox powers of persuasion, and the most unnerving of these was his silence. He could sit across from you and smile and say nothing for at least a few minutes. He could reduce you practically to tears without saying a word! By the time I was at Emory, he was no longer chair of the residency program, but he still held a commanding presence in the administrative office. I will never forget his penetrating gaze, or the valuable lesson it teaches. I still admire his self-control, at being able to stare anyone down for as long as they could manage to remain silent.

Schmuck

Schmuck (pejorative), an insulting term for a stupid person or dimwitted fool or an unwanted guest

In other words, what do you call a guy that cost himself $7.5 million for using a banned substance, and cost his team potentially far more in lost post-season opportunities and marketing?

Which Law of Power did he break?

Law 5 So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

Porsche's climb to the top

Have you ever bought a Porsche? If you have, you can understand why they are the top car company in the world. They just bought VW. In a time when car companies are filing for bankruptcy, and others are on the "dole" for government handouts, Porsche is a company more associated with terms like, "billion dollar profits," and "record-breaking sales."

So what are they doing right?

The biggest thing is the application of the Laws of Power.

Law 8 Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

Law 13 When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest, Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

Law 26 Keep Your Hands Clean

These are actually similar concepts. The idea is that when you want to trigger a behavior, do it in a positive way, not through complaining.

When you go to turn in your leased Porsche, they don't find every little flaw in the turn-in. A lot of dealers will do that--they bad-mouth the trade. This assaults the buyers' self-esteem, wearing them down until they accept a lowball on the trade.

Porsche takes the opposite approach. They try to make it very easy to get out of your old Porsche and into a better one. They emphasize the advantages of the new car, and basically ignore the old car. Not a single negative word is uttered.

I have found this strategy very useful in my dealings with people. It is so easy to be sidetracked into negativity--with some people, that's the only way they know how to talk. But if you can get people smiling and create a positive environment around you, people will love you. Though some days it can be a real effort to put on a happy face, with the right group of people it can be fun.

The Porsche dealers use this technique to essentially turn you into a Porsche addict, almost like a mafia deal. You know turning in the leased vehicle for another Porsche is ridiculously easy, while turning it in for another type of car would involve all kinds of expenses, repairs, and other inconveniences.

Then they can not only upsell you on features and options, but also they have a nice number to brag about: buyer loyalty.

Think about it--not a single negative word is said, and they get the car shopper to do exactly what they want them to do: forget about every other car out there and follow the path of least resistance to a new Porsche.

The best strategy to win here is to avoid the dealership altogether. Unless, of course, you prefer Porsches...

Indirect is best

When you're a kid, you have one way of confrontation: directly against the person who aggravated you. "Hey, give that back!"

When you're a grownup, hopefully you'll learn a different technique. Let's call it "indirect." If you are upset at something I did, do you call me out on it? Total waste of time. I get mad at you, you end up looking bad.

The better maneuver is that I tell others around you what you did. I create a compelling narrative sympathetic to my story. Choose the details that put me in a good light, you in a bad one.

If my story is any good, others rally to my cause. They see the harm in what you've done. They may not really remember all the details of what you did later, but when they see you, they have a negative thought about you.

This negatively impacts your reputation, and if this happens enough, you will suffer for it.

I guess this is why social review networks are so powerful: they let people tell others about bad service you offered. If enough people complain, your reputation will be impacted. It has to be, if by definition reputation is what others say about you.

Why chemo patients are awesome

Look into the chemo room, if you dare.

Ok, it's a motley crew. People who are thin. People who don't have much hair. People with IVs. I agree, it doesn't have the appeal of an ice cream social. People ask, "how could you do that," meaning oncology and the whole chemotherapy bit.

But wait. You're missing the whole point.

These are the people who have decided to live. They have willingly rearranged schedules, delegated childcare, and enlisted friends and family to help.

Not everyone even has the guts to sit in the chemo room chair. Some people are afraid. I understand that. When there's a catastrophe, they say the way to survive is to never stop looking for the way out. Some people lock up, freeze. The people in the chemo room are motivated to action by a crisis. That's inspiring.

You have to understand that the chemo room is the place where the mortal struggle between human and cancer is conducted, and often won. What is a basketball court? Ok, it's got better lighting and sound, but isn't the contest played on a basketball court a little ridiculous compared to the one in the chemo room?

Little old ladies have shed their oxygen tanks there. I kid thee not.

Stage III breast cancers by the dozens become a thing of the past there. The list is longer than I can remember.

Ideally, nobody would have to sit in these chairs, enduring the wig discussions and the side effects. Someday, we will have a different treatment model. I personally prefer the Star Trek model, where the doc waves a machine over your body and you magically get better.

Until then, I'll be in the chemo room.

Monsters v. Aliens

This was a work of craftsmanship, if not art. I would agree more with Slate's take that this is Dreamwork's Pixar moment, than with Ebert's trashing of the movie. The review was just not good. A dictionary definition of "wit" in a review of a kid movie?

Hey bud, I dunno about you, but my kids liked it. It gave me an opportunity to introduce the concept of "code brown" to my daughter, which I had actually been meaning to do for a while, but never got around to it.

T.I. sentencing Friday

Best rapper since Eminem